Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Feeling Blessed...

As I am now counting down the days until I return to work (next Monday, exactly one week from today) I am feeling a little sad, a little happy, and very blessed. I cannot believe for a second that these babies are already 11 weeks old. Every parent will tell you how fast time flies, but I never really believed them until it happened to me. It seems like only yesterday we were spreading the news of our pregnancy, and yet my babies are here and we are getting to know them more and more each day.

People now ask me two things (in addition to the NUMEROUS twins questions). They ask me if I enjoyed being pregnant and if we will have more children. I was pretty ambivalent towards pregnancy. I could take it or leave it. It was ok I guess. It wasn't fabulous, and it wasn't awful. My whole thought process in all of this was the end result - babies. All pregnancy was to me was to have my babies. It was like a plane ride. It kind of just gets you there. Sure, you might enjoy looking out the windows, and the thrill of the ride, but all in all, you just want to get where you're going. I felt that way too about my delivery. I didn't care about how they got here. Who cares if I delivered vaginally or via a c-section? Does it make me more of a mother to do it one way versus another? Nope! All that matters is again, the end result - babies!!

Do I want more children? I don't know. As of right now, I am thinking no. That might change down the road and I may eat these words. But as of this moment, Josh and Jules and my very, very special miracles that I prayed for and we tried so hard to have for years. They are my life right now and I can't imagine anything happening to change that. I feel like God gave me these because we tried so hard, so I feel like having another might take away that special feeling. But again, I may just eat my words here in a few years. We'll see!

Some blogger friends of mine have their precious miracles in the NICU. I don't know what it is, but I am waaaay over-emotional about the NICU. It began when we toured it in our multiples class. I guess it was because there was such a good, strong possibility that my babies would be there, and it scared me to death. Those precious little fighters just make me sob. There were some babies there less than a pound. I feel so completely blessed that my babies were born healthy and at a very good weight and we got to take them home with us from the hospital. It is so very rare that twins can do that. I don't know what I would do if I had to visit them there day in and day out. I commend you strong mothers out there with your sweet babies in the NICU. I know they are well taken care of and are little fighters. I think and pray about you often.

I know this blog post didn't make much sense, but I am just thinking about my babies today and how much I love them and how blessed we are that they are here and happy and healthy (well, happy MOST of the time, LOL). I know going back to work is going to be so hard, so I am going to enjoy my last week with them as much as possible!!


  1. Wow, time has flown! I've so enjoyed following your journey of Josh and Jules through the first 11 weeks. Sorry it's almost time to go back to work, hope you enjoy your last week at home =)

  2. oh my goodness- I finally got to see what all the fuss was about! Man oh man, you are so right, Momma! They could NOT be MORE PRECIOUS, SWEET, SNUGGLY little miracles! SO good to see you last week! Praying this week goes well. That you have so much going on that you get home as quickly as you left *and* the meeting went well Thursday and you are feeling completely calm with the nanny. Love you, girl!